Decisions

There i a famous quote in Matrix- The movie, "Life is a set of choice; you make a decision and open the door knowing not what lies in store for you". Nothing can sum up what i am upto now more aptly that this. Why on earth i am repeating the course. Where is the enthusiasm that i had for an MBA last year. I believe my decision to come here was based upon the best raional decisions i have taken in my life, but did i consider the motivational aspects of the same, given my nature which never wants to do the same thing again?

Its tough to analyse the implication this decision has had or will have on me. Of course at one corner i am very happy that i have an opportunity to belong to the elite XL community but on the other hand i have to endure what i am going through now.

But the question lingers in my mind, if, what i am going through now is just a self made obsession that is of no importance to me now. Why i cant shed the baggage that i am cayying right now and start all over again as if nothing happened. Am i worried that i have lost one year of my life for nothing. Or is it just plain jealosy to see my friends get a head start of one year.

Everyone tells you that one year will not matter in the long run specially when you have come to a place like XL. But how do i convince myself that this one year is worth the wait. Although i know nothing could be done now. I guess its plain inertia that is playing on me. I think i hust need to get back or rather get into the scheme of things.

But the big question is that how do i get into the scheme? Just jump in.

I think the answer lies in the movie Rocky V, where he speaks of fear within, that grips human beings. I agree all these issues have cropped up in my mind plainly due to the inherent fear of failure. Is it really justified or am i afraid to prove myself again?

The challenge right now is to overcome those fears and come back hard at what i was doing and doing well. I guess there is no need for me to fear fro there is no tomorrow. Am i afraid to speel out my fear? yes to a certain extent. ut i guess i need not worry cos as i believe, "If a guy has talent, then no force in the world can succed in subduing him". I just need to hold my fort and control over the negative emotions that have begun cropping up.

Hope by the next time i post here, i am back to normal self and have kicked some good a**.

Live life XL size.
Kallappa

On a platter

Not all things in life are given to you on a platter. If it means that some things are given on a platter, how much of it do we really value. Little do we understand that things that we get effortlessly or seemingly so can be at times unreachable to some people. In such a situation how right it is on the part of people who get these things to sqatter away these scant opportunities that epople get in life.
Not that i value everything that i get, but it was just that a thought crossed my mind as to what if we wish someone to be with us or know someone who is capabe of achieving it faltering at the final step?
And does it mean that if you fail a couple of time, you need to loose faith in your own abilities? I think what emerges from the gist of life is that while somethings are given on a platter even if you dont work for it, some them in a similar way would take a lot more effort thatn they deserve to attain those goals.
Which in essence brings me to the fact that one should not give up so easily.